Tag Archives: loneliness

Drowning

Sadness,

Cast like a net over me,

Threatening to pull me under.

Staring out the window as if hypnotized,

Cars pass,

Wind blows through the trees,

Pedestrians carry on with their day,

The sun is shining,

Still I see nothing and feel everything.

This unexplainable innervation,

Shows up like an unexpected visitor,

Uninvited and unwanted,

Unshakable.

Bombarding me with questions and doubts,

Hiding my head in the sand,

Trying to bury the incessant noise,

Unsuccessful, I succumb to the torment,

Tired,

I find little consolation in it’s ephemeral nature,

Its no less painful,

Seems no less eternal,

Leaves me no less hopeless.

With painted smile,

I wander aimlessly through the day,

An observer of my surroundings,

Unable to participate,

Handicapped by sorrow,

Handcuffed to my emotions.

Viscerally I know this will pass,

This realization is all that sustains me,

A lifeline tossed to a drowning man,

Grabbing hold with all my strength,

Waiting to be dragged to shore,

Into the waiting arms of sanity.

To Dine Alone

Coffee black and strong,

Gripped between cigarette stained fingers,

Making small talk,

How ’bout the weather?

Did ya see the news?

Filler to pass the time.

Old men hunched over cold eggs and bacon,

Swilling bottomless cups of mud,

Chain smoking Lucky’s,

Melancholy in the swirling cloud of second-hand smoke.

Each one has a story,

Exaggerated tales of loves lost,

Fables of misfortune and triumph,

White lies cast as bait to a sympathetic crowd.

“Sweetie”, a patron’s cry,

Barking for a check, menu, or refill,

Significant in this sea of anonymity,

Otherwise silently ignored.

The revolving door,

Room for one more lonely transient,

One more cup of thick black coffee,

Held between nicotine stained fingers,

Another tall tale wrapped in white lies,

Told to another friend,

Scarcely more than a stranger,

Just another forlorn castaway,

Adrift on a sea of tribulation.

 

The Looking Glass

A window,

Like any other window,

Panes separate reality from fiction,

Anonymity, my closest friend.

 

The sidewalk,

Crowded with actors in this play,

Passers by looking up,

I’m part of the backdrop,

Important to the scenery,

Insignificant to the story,

But at least I’m still on stage.

 

I watch and listen,

Taking in the hustle and bustle outside,

So cliche’ yet so relevant,

The horns, the taxis,

Rushing to get to God knows where,

All to make another dollar.

 

People scramble,

Suits and ties, bohemians and homeless,

Sharing the same life on the streets,

Avoiding eye contact,

Avoiding making it personal

Too afraid of feeling empathy for those around them.

 

The children,

Double-dutch and hopscotch,

Brings back memories of simpler times,

Things weren’t so complicated back then,

Fire hydrants to beat the summer heat,

Careless and carefree were the names of the game.

 

My hands to glass,

Breath fogging my lens to the world,

Wishing I could be part of the show,

Instead of just a prop,

Destined to remain alone,

A fish in this fishbowl I call home.

 

A window,

Like any other window,

Panes separate reality from fiction,

Anonymity, my closest friend.