O’ my love, why must I suffer this hell today.
Like so many days before, I fell today.
.
I’m trying to move on, but my heart won’t allow,
It’s afraid I’ll forget you if I quell today.
.
Your passing lives on in my blood and my bones,
Like a mystic potion I’m under it’s spell today.
.
Without you my sweet I am no longer whole,
Subsisting as nothing but a broken shell today.
.
Tonight I will drop to my knees and I’ll pray
That pain can be confined to it’s cell today.
.
Through tears in my eyes, for comfort I look.
There is no one to whom I can tell today.
.
So with a heart that is heavy Dom must wish you goodnight,
I’ll bid you adieu and farewell today.
.
~~ Dominic R. DiFrancesco ~~
.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: I have to say that this is the toughest poetic form that I have tried to date. It requires a great deal of forethought to have it make sense and yet I still am not sure if I succeeded. If you want to give a new form a try, this might be the one to put you to the test. It certainly tested me.
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FORM: Ghazal – (Pronunciation: “guzzle”) Originally an Arabic verse form dealing with loss and romantic love, medieval Persian poets embraced the ghazal, eventually making it their own. Consisting of syntactically and grammatically complete couplets, the form also has an intricate rhyme scheme. Each couplet ends on the same word or phrase (the radif), and is preceded by the couplet’s rhyming word (the qafia, which appears twice in the first couplet). The last couplet includes a proper name, often of the poet’s. In the Persian tradition, each couplet was of the same meter and length, and the subject matter included both erotic longing and religious belief or mysticism.
In my eyes you succeeded my friend. It’s lovely. It has a nice flow, a lot of emotion and speaks to the heart.
‘Without you my sweet I am no longer whole’
True and beautifully written.
Lots of love
Thank you so much Patty, that means a lot to me. Hugz my friend. )
I tried one of these Ghazals back in April and found the form extremely challenging… I’ve been meaning to give it a second go…I think you did a great job Dom… I enjoyed it very much…
Thank you very much TJ, this one really pushed me and I have to say that I enjoyed writing it. You should give it another try when you are ready, I would love to read it.
You did well! It is easy to see how difficult it is.
Thank you so much. :)
Well done! I used to read ghazals in Farsi/Persian and it is really refreshing to read an English poem in this format. You have captured its essence beautifully.
Thank you very much, I appreciate this from someone who is obviously very familiar with the form. I must say that it is an extremely challenging form of poetry, but quite beautiful as well and I’m very pleased that it you enjoyed it.
Well done. I love your poetry. Thank you for introducing me to new and different forms of poetry. Wonderful!
It is my pleasure, thank you for taking the time to read my poetry and for writing such a nice comment.
Very, very nice! You did a great job. Perhaps I’ll try it too. It would work very well for an idea I’ve had. I’d say you rocked this form. It takes a lot of work to both complete the requirements and make it look like it was effortless.
Thank you very much Jen, you should give it a try, I’m sure you will do great with it. I’m glad that it looked effortless, but I can assure you that it wasn’t although I suppose that if I do more of them it would get easier. I look forward to seeing what you can do with the Ghazal if you decide to give it a go. :)
Sounds good!
Thanks. :)
it’s a really good try…. Ghazal is also an Urdu word…that’s my national language….most people of my country write ghazals…. i also try to write… i love their rhyme schemes…..
Thank you, this type of poem obviously will take a great deal of time to master, but that is all part of the learning process.
it’s a really good try…. i enjoyed it… the very title pleased me so much..Ghazal is an urdu word as well…that’s my national language…mostly, people of my country write ghazals…. i love this form of poetry … i enjoy rhyming scheme…….i also try to write ghazals in my national language URDU….
u did great work !
cheers… :-)
Thank you so very much, I appreciate the nice comments especially from one who is so familiar with the form. Your encouragement is most welcome. Cheers my friend. :)
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Thank you for the mention Jen, I really do appreciate it.
I was wondering why the form seemed so familiar when I came across it on Bastet’s blog, and that is because I had seen it here on your blog before! My apologies for not crediting or including you in my ghazal post, but I can provide a link on my post to this beautiful ghazal if you don’t mind.
I don’t mind at all and no apologies necessary, it happens, but thank you, I do appreciate it none-the-less.
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OH BOY, have you succeeded! Absolutely astoundingly beautiful. I just tried one too – with the repetition being ‘today’ :D…it can not compare nearly close to this splendid poetry.
Well done! :D
Thank you very much, that is a much appreciated comment. :)
Fantastic work. :)
Thank you very much, this was one of the most challenging forms I’ve ever tried, maybe I’ll give it a go again someday. :)