Tag Archives: depression

Caligula Though Tyrant He Be

Caligula though tyrant he be, is not so unlike my chaotic mind,

Burned to the ground like Nero’s Rome, a cure oh so difficult to find.

Cries to the almighty gods, heaven sent go unanswered,

Eating at my senses and sanity like a cancer.

Why is it that the clarity of thought so often goes awry

When focus eludes me no matter how I try.

Is this a curse–a symptom of a troubled body and soul,

I know not, still it leaves me feeling less than whole.

Most fortunate to me is that it never long lasts,

A matter of hours or days is all it takes to pass.

Yet this is of no less a concern and satisfies me little,

Stunting my spirit like knife to wood wittle.

Alone I am not of this I am certain,

As this diatribe ends and I bring down the curtain.

Praying that soon this too will vanish,

Returning to me clarity from whence it was banished.

.

~~ Dominic R. DiFrancesco ~~

 

A New Day, A New Light Dawns

A new day, a new light dawns,

No more do the darkest clouds mask my life,

Shrouding me in gloom so marshland thick.

Crying out to be saved ushered no hand,

Leaving me to crawl, bloodied and battered from my despicable pit.

No hope nor blame was there outside of self–

Though not for lack of trying.

How easy it was to shine blame on another,

Justifying this rancid condition through mirrored fault.

Oh how misplaced and misguided were my intentions!

I need look no further than my reflection to find the culprit,

The thief that steals away at the slightest hint of uplifted spirit.

For now he has been banished back to his cell,

‘Til next his jailer be tricked into releasing him.

.

~~ Dominic R. DiFrancesco ~~

 

Consciously Adrift

Consciously adrift in melancholia today

A strange feeling of sorts, almost out-of-body.

Praying this awareness isn’t here to stay,

It has been some time since I have felt this oddly.

~

Perhaps its the conclusion of a season so merry

Punctuating my customary schedule of labor,

Or the calming of life that for a time was so hurried

Returning to the normalcy of my common behavior.

~

More like the drying of the druggy or drunkard,

The heart becomes heavy with worry and sadness.

These feelings have since grown increasingly absurd,

Leading me down this pathway toward madness.

~

Pray tell–to what end does this folly intend,

In driving my soul to the brink of destruction?

Try as I might to bandage and mend

And pull myself out of this pit of compunction.

~

On knees that are bent in prayer for reprieve

All one can hope for is its swiftness to pass.

Lifting up spirits and hasten sorrows to leave

Like sand as it trickles through narrow of the hourglass.

~

~~ Dominic R. DiFrancesco ~~

Another Christmas

Another Christmas

Filled with anticipation

It comes then its gone

Will spirit leave as quickly

Resulting in depression

The gifts are opened

Dinner and dessert are done

Family–friends gone

What have we left of Christmas

When all excitement passes on

~

~~ Dominic R. DiFrancesco ~~

 

I Beg

I beg–do not look too deeply into my eyes,

What you see may both be surprising and terrifying.

Blackness…deep…dark…all consuming,

May swallow you up like the undertow.

You swim, kick, scream and still you drown,

Falling into the depths.

Seeing the sun above and nothingness below,

Praying to your God to be saved

As your tears dilute into the salty sea, unrecognizable.

Surely you will be disappointed,

My weakness splayed like modern art on my soul.

This is not what you committed too,

Vows could not have prepared you for this hell,

The hell that is my secret,

One held close to the heart,

For as long as I can remember.

~

~~ Dominic R. DiFrancesco ~~

 

Lonely Hotel Room

Lonely hotel room,

Faded carpet,

Trust in clean sheets,.

Looking out from high above,

Cracked blacktop parking-lot,

Peeling dumpster,

Weary travelers rental cars,

I wonder why I am here.

Long-distance calls from home

Offer little respite from my angst,

“I love you’s”, across the airwaves,

Still alone with my glowing companion,

Unable to sleep,

Strange bed holds no warmth.

All this, another spin on the wheel,

All this for sustenance,

I wonder at what cost.

Strain on spouse,

Toll on children,

One parent household,

Each trip will be the last.

Until the next time,

Addicted to the golden ring.

~

~~ Dominic R. DiFrancesco ~~

Dark Closet

Its a dark closet,

Door shut,

Bolt fixed,

Lock turned.

Reaching above the door frame,

Skeleton key missing.

Clanging of metal tells the tale.

You’ve locked yourself inside,

Stolen the key.

Don’t you want rescue,

To be saved,

Freed from this dungeon?

In an instant

Lights go out.

No sign of life beneath locked door.

All is quite,

Retreating to the recesses of your mind.

~

~~ Dominic R. DiFrancesco ~~

This Blanket Of Snow

This blanket of snow,

Holds no greater chill than that of my soul,

Tangled in frigid fingers of emotion,

Drowning in a veritable ocean,

Whose frothy foam I call home.

~

I ask not for your sympathy,

Desire not your empathy,

This road I must travel alone,

A path my heart to me has shown,

Until my thirst has been sated.

~

To struggle forth and never find,

Reeks with havoc a fragile mind,

Constantly reaching to dull the pain,

No matter how subtle to keep me sane,

Darkness hides the tears I grieve.

~

Let not this smile I outward show,

Mislead you that I carefree go,

Buried deep within sullen core,

Bolted and locked the iron door,

My feelings trapped in dungeon black.

~

I pray one day to find the key,

To let in light so that I might see,

The gift of worth in this life I’ve led,

Before I join the cold stone dead,

On a sea of stark eternity.

~

~~ Dominic R. DiFrancesco ~~

Demons, Of The Mind Or Real

Demons, of the mind or real

Are they not one and the same?

It all depends on how you feel,

Perception is the name of the game.

~

A fact to one, to another fiction

It matters your point of view.

A passing fad or tragic addiction,

Apparent in what we say and do.

~

It makes no difference the chosen vice,

Whether outside or so ingrained.

Once affliction takes hold, you never think twice,

They are illness’ one and the same

~

Bite down on your tongue the next time you speak

About thinks you know nothing about.

The outlook for some, no matter how bleak

Is a demon they’re fighting to rush out.

~

~~ Dominic R. DiFrancesco ~~

Steel Bars – A Tanka

Steel bars of prison

No match for my jailer’s wrath

Sentence self-imposed

Cruelty and deprivation

Are the penalties for sin

~

~~ Dominic R. DiFrancesco ~~