Blackness and dread have come over me,
I know not for how much longer I can resist.
Something unnatural here has staked claim to my soul;
Amongst these damp, dark, mossy castle walls
Light of day does little to diminish my fear.
I can feel it’s presence whilst awake and in slumber,
It speaks to me, taunting me to do unspeakable evil.
I am not the monster this darkness wishes me to be
Tho’ I fear I must be going mad!
I have called on God for strength, but to no avail
He has left me to my own voice.
My wife of O’ these many years fears me,
I am not the man I was,
I have paled, the purple beneath my eyes ages me.
Venturing into the night with nary a word nor explanation
I remember this not, tho’ my clothing doth bear evidence.
I wake to incessant scoffing yet am utterly alone outside of my bed,
Is my mind playing tricks on me,
What have I done, where have I gone?
My shirt dotted in crimson, bloody knife sheathed at my waist,
My hands painted scarlet speak of some unconscious evil.
I have never…could never hurt a living soul,
Yet this throbbing in my skull,
These incessant nightmares claim otherwise.
What I see in my minds eye disgusts me, tho’ I am horrifyingly intrigued.
Screams, shrill and bloodcurdling haunt me.
I can see the faces of females I have never known
Yet they lay at my feet, faces contorted in terror.
I am looking down upon myself and my bloodied hands
These women have been disemboweled,
Steam rising from their flayed vessels in the cold night air,
I laugh heartily at their horrific demise.
These are just dreams!
Nay! They are but nightmares, figments of an active imagination!
They must be!
But my hands bear witness to my dreams.
They are but one and the same, though I know not how.
What have I done, why must I be tormented?
Clearly God has forsaken me!
I dare not show my face beyond these castle walls,
I dare not reveal what I have truly become to my wife and children;
I have become a pariah to my family and this world,
I am ashamed!
Voices chortle saying, “You know what you must do!”,
“Join us! Join us!”.
This pain hath become unbearable,
Pounding, pounding, unceasing, these voices.
Hand drawn to the knife handle I contemplate my end.
The hammer continues to beat upon my temple
As the beat of a drum, constant and rhythmic.
Drawing blade from sheath I tremble, I know what I must do,
Whilst the voices drone on in their monotone “Join us!”.
Lips quivering, eyes tearing, I long for my prior life,
My family, my mind void of this Satan, but it is not to be.
To the hilt, I drive the blood caked knife through my throbbing temple.
Black…Nothing but blackness,
Still there is pain,
Forever tormented even in death,
Surely I must be cursed to hell.
~~ Dominic R. DiFrancesco ~~