Shadows overhead
Cast my soul into darkness
Threatening to drown
Though I know this is not me
Imbalance marks me victim
~
~~ Dominic R. DiFrancesco ~~
Tag Archives: depression
Into A Darkness – A Tanka
A glassy eyed stare
Into the heart of your soul
Yields me no solace
Swallowed into a darkness
Which has never seen the light
~
~~ Dominic R. DiFrancesco ~~
The Wretch Within
Mirror shattered,
Bluish-green razor edge inviting,
Showing me pieces of who I used to be,
In fractured frames,
Blurring the lines of my worn and weary face.
To go on seems pointless,
In light of the disappointment I’ve sown in my life,
What relief cool glass to flesh would bring,
Were it not for the disappointment it would usher,
The woes of family and friends,
The abomination I would be before God,
The cowardice of my soul,
The greater Hell I would face.
Maybe this life is the biblical Hell,
Perhaps everything hereafter is Heavenly,
I do not know,
I can not know,
These things beyond the knowledge of man,
Revealed as mystery whilst I breath.
Of this I am certain, I will carry my burden,
Not for me as I am beyond hope,
But for those around me,
To prevent the shame of my imperfections.
Maybe this is the cross that I must bear,
Heavy…splinters piercing my flesh,
Wretched in this worldly skin.
~~ D. R. DiFrancesco ~~
Committed
By D. R. DiFrancesco
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your tired eyes look skyward
Begging for comfort without so much as a word
I reach out to you
Cradling you in an embrace born of affection
Expecting nothing in return
Your head resting on my chest
Can you feel my heart beat to your touch
Like a metronome keeping rhythm with your own
Exchanging words without speaking
I can hear your sadness and sense your pain
What can I do to relieve your tortured soul
Provide for you
Offer understanding without judgement
Reassure your lingering doubts
Hold tightly to your trembling hands
I will wade with you through the melancholy tide
You will not be left alone to drown
I am here to keep you afloat when you cannot swim
Don’t be afraid my love
For I will never leave your side
My commitment is eternal
Secrets Better Left Spoken
By D. R. DiFrancesco
~~~~~~
Secrets clutched tightly to our breast
Scared to show vulnerability
Hiding those things which make us cry, make us bleed
From a world we don’t think could understand.
~~
Are we untrue to ourselves
The lies we hide deep within our hearts
Beat rhythmically to escape the fleshy prison
Only to be pushed back into the darkest recesses of our souls.
~~
No one is immune
Deceitful is he who denies his susceptibility
Who has breathed that has not hidden his weakness
Protection from our humanity.
~~
Our society prides strength
Scoffing at compassion and emotion as if a sign of frailty
This is absurd, yet it resonates loudly among us
So we shelter that which makes us mortal.
~~
Maleness dictates the subjugation of feelings
One cannot be strong and show emotion
So we masquerade them in anger and violence
Unleashing rage through pestilence and war.
~~
Our progeny suffers
Families torn asunder in fits of acrimony
Childhoods left in tatters by pent up defiance
Fallen to the tragedy of shame.
~~
Depression festers, virulent and deadly
A secret best left unmentioned in polite circles
An illness of the mind cannot be real
You are a man, you must act like one.
~~
The imposition of this philosophy is for fools
Harmful and destructive to the mind, body and soul
Anxiety, depression, suicide the unwelcome victor
Do these secrets make you proud.
credit – carroll.edu
Recapturing Innocence
By D. R. DiFrancesco
~
I found a place,
Deep inside me,
Warm and comforting,
Something I thought I’d lost.
~
So many years ago,
Innocence shielded me,
Harbored my emotions,
Enveloped me in the simplicity of youth.
~
Age changed,
I let my gentility drift off,
Replacing it with cynicism,
Spoiling the wonder of me.
~
The world didn’t change,
It is still just as wondrous,
Instead it was me that was corrupted,
My skepticism and pessimism changed my view.
~
Looking for the worst,
My fellow man could not be trusted,
Conniving and deceitful by nature,
I lost sight of the decent.
~
My perception flawed,
Skewed by life experience,
Taken as the standard bearer,
Distorting my future interactions.
~
Mistrust instills bitterness,
Fear of the worst is all consuming,
Depression and anxiety take root,
Trapping ugliness inside.
~
Tired of the sadness,
No longer recognizable,
It was not me in the mirror,
Rather a shell of who I was.
~
With eyes wide,
I looked deep,
Straining to find the innocent me,
Drawn to tears by the time I’d lost.
~
There is joy in letting go,
Finding good in what surrounds me,
Purging the cynic and skeptic,
Anchors that weighed me down.
~
I have found that place,
Pleasing to my body and soul,
Lost so many years ago,
To the ravages of maturity.
Image credit: citizenshift.org
Mind Games
Sorrowing Old Man – Vincent Van Gogh – 1890
By D. R. DiFrancesco
~~
Drifting away,
Drowning in a sea of desperation,
Grasping for a life ring of sanity,
Just out of my reach.
~
I look within,
A swirling cyclonic mess embodies me,
Unrefined shapes and forms,
Seeking to undermine me at every turn.
~
This Impenetrable darkness,
That neither sun nor joy can imbue,
Why have I been cursed with this plague,
Delivering pain to the four winds of my soul.
~
Overwhelming sadness clutches me to her bosom,
Offering me nothing but anguish,
Have I not been tormented enough,
Stripped and laid bare to the elements.
~
God and science offer no comfort,
For the troubled mind worships it’s own demons,
I have prayed to exercise them,
Yet found the only panacea is time.
~
With night, slumber offers me respite,
Time for healing,
Calm for the erratic mind,
Hope for a clearer perspective at dawn.
A Dark Trip
By D. R. DiFrancesco
Sour feelings troubling and deep,
Twisting emotions dark hidden,
I know not where these notions I keep,
They come, they consume the life I’m living.
To try and break the hold, the strangle,
Fruitless and wearying as I revolt the demon,
Senses and emotions left bloody and mangled,
Begging sleep to lead solemn dreaming.
For this I hope the obsidian cloud rises,
Paving way for spirit lifted,
Lock away my despondent guises,
To be thankful for all that I have been gifted.
47th and Madison
By D. R. DiFrancesco
Wind blows icy and sharp,
Sidewalks caked in gum and grime,
Could pass for Art Deco,
If not for their hearts of stone.
A biting chill rising,
Stinging the prone soul,
The corner she calls home,
Talking and motioning to her alter-ego.
Wrapped in a windbreaker of plastic,
Once for someones rubbish,
Black and torn,
This, her life fortune.
Passers-by avoid her gaze,
The unseen don’t exist in their convenient world ,
While scorn cast its ugly breath upon her,
Disguised as laughter and whispers.
She’s gone now,
Passed away, put away, moved on,
Her home, white washed and sterile,
Did you even know who she was, did she ever exist?
She could have been your mother,
Possibly a sister or a family friend,
Someone you could have loved,
She could have even been you.
Insecurity
By D. R. DiFrancesco
If only you could hear my thoughts
The aspirations I have for you
The love I feel for you
Would you be surprised
I have always been an idealist
For myself and those I cherish
Only yearning for the best for you
Taking pride in your little accomplishments
Offering up praise when you interrogate yourself
Anxiety and self-doubt were carefully sheltered from view
Constantly scratching and clawing,
Tearing up your insides in an attempt to escape
You kept them so well hidden
Your inner child cried for approval
I could not help but answer
I’ve always been susceptible to your tears
Drawing you close
Imbibing your insecurities
Reassuring your soul that you are worthy
This is not who you are
Looking in the mirror
You don’t see what I see
You are beautiful
You are unique
You are you
*Image from confident1.com
Dom DiFrancesco 